Thursday, December 3, 2009 | 10:54 AM
The feeling I never felt before..
Is no longer me and myself standing alone facing all the problems I facing. In terms of relationship with people. Having too many things during the holiday because Jesus will be with me! I don't have to go find time to do things as long as I'm in his presense I have all the time I ever needed. Enough is enough. Everything have to end NOW!! I have tried enough, cried enough, being hurt enough.. I shall not turn for human love but the father's love. Love someone that love me so much more that He gave his all for me is better then loving a human that would change anytime while Jesus won't! Without Him I would not have been what I am now. Yesterday was the night. I realised how useless human "love" is.. While daddy God's love is so unfailing and so everlasting and so satisfying, It could fill up the emptyness in my heart. It make my heart whole. I feel so refreshing after yesterday night although in the morning when I just wake up I had goldfish eyes.. =.= Nothing I can not do without Jesus! Without Him I won't even experience the life I had now. He is such a loving father that He is so interested in every part of you that He know how many hair you have. I need take some time to change everything.. My bad habits and all. I wanna be more like JESUS!!!
Never Ending, Everlasting, Such fulfilling Love of God I experience...
Never Ending, Everlasting, Such fulfilling Love of God I experience...
Labels: Matthew 10:30
Wednesday, December 2, 2009 | 3:06 PM
Christianity is not a religion but a relationship!
I have always thought that christianity is a religion and all you have to do is to believe and full stop! Nothing else actually it is not. Christianity is our walk with God and our relationship with God just like our relationship with our parents and best friends. I will have to stand against religion in my life. Because when I have this religious mindset that God is far away actually HE is not. He is always with me whenever and wherever I am. All things I have and going to have is from Jesus. Only when I believe and truely trust in Jesus good things will come chasing after me. All things are done by Jesus all I have to do is to receive. Christianity is no longer a religion where by there are rules to follow and all those because I have learn that religion doesn't like grace.. As religion is the stopper of God's grace.. God will never provide enough for us instead HE provide MORE than enough for us. Beingd the child of God is not because of what we do but what we are!
1 stroke of God's favour is better than 10 years labour!!!!
1 stroke of God's favour is better than 10 years labour!!!!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 | 3:12 PM
Trust and not doubt
Always have been thinking back about the past and always regreted on the things that I had done but could do it better. When can I stop think of all those unhappy things? When can I ever stop what I am doing now. I want a better me but when will that happen? I actually don't want me at all!!!!! I want to be like Jesus!! can I ?? Why do humans always regret on the things that they have done wrong? Why do humans always doubts?? I want and will be like daddy God!! I shall learn to stop doubting but trust in HIM.. I will also learn how to do things well in order not to regret when in future I look back I won't leave any regrets. YES Jesus you will make me better and as I grow and I may have favour with you!
Gui feng and these duno wad cardboard at the pharmacy..
| 2:21 PM
.....
Gui feng and these duno wad cardboard at the pharmacy..
1st day I took my squard with gui feng..
gui feng look so unglam.. =D
Saturday, November 28, 2009 | 12:52 PM
Thinking.......
At first I really don't know what to write about. This few days have been rotting at home. Feel so bored but now I thought of something. I think that the two of us is from very different world. Our background are so different everything is just so different about us? but I didn't know how come I get to know you. You look so fake to me I don't know whether to trust you or not. It's really scary. Only with just afew weeks I feel that our friendship have been drawn further apart. I also don't know why. I don't know whether you would see this or not is just what I think la. Many times I feel like going back to RG for a visit but the thought always being knock off when I thought of what the people there would think about me. I really don't know how to like go back with a heart of annoying people's thought. I really don't know. I want to go back for a visit is because I wanted to see some people that I miss and it have been a long time since I last see them really misses them.. I am grateful to some who continue to keep in touch with me even invited me to their camp although from the outside everything never change but to me it change! I am no longer the member of the church and seriously what will they think about me when I go back? I guess I will only left with a choice and that is to meet up with the people I miss and not go back to the church for service itself? Still thinking about it. I don't know if this is the best choice..
I misses some of you!!!
I misses some of you!!!
Friday, November 27, 2009 | 6:37 PM
Is it just a name? is it that simple?
People do change don't they? Some people doesn't look as simple as they are. Some change for the better while others don't. Just one night I learn alot of things. Just one night I realise alot of things isn't as simple as I thought. So what if I miss the old times where we were all so young then. Where the people were so innocent. I change too. I was once so simple minded to think that some people were so good. I thought I could do something about that. I thought I could make a change until yesterday night.. I then know what done can not be undone and I can't really change anything. I will still give it a try. You call yourself a dg? when all of us are so far apart from each other. Why must all of you have your own cliques and leave others as if they were extra? Why can't all of us just bond in together? That was what I have thought about last time. After talking to sarah I now know why she feel so hopeless about changing the situation,not only that after I saw all those photos I really know why the situation is like that. All of your smile is it all fake? I thought you guys were great friend to be but I guess I am wrong because things isn't that simple. For once I still thought of making friends with you guys but think again I think I'm too naive.. From how you behave I think all that ur gang think about is just guys? Nothing is shown through what all of you have done that could make me think that we may be friends.. I meant very good friends.. Just like how other dg spent time with each other like close friends.
I know you guys are prety but in the eyes of God everyone is equal! So I think all of you should open up more.. Stop staying within your clique! Who knows maybe by doing that you get a chance to step out of your own comfort zone you may even experience different things that God wants you to experience!
A separeted dg is not a dg anymore.
I know you guys are prety but in the eyes of God everyone is equal! So I think all of you should open up more.. Stop staying within your clique! Who knows maybe by doing that you get a chance to step out of your own comfort zone you may even experience different things that God wants you to experience!
A separeted dg is not a dg anymore.
Thursday, November 26, 2009 | 3:45 PM
With everything..
"with everything,with everything we will shout forth your praise." I start to question myself whether if I could ever do that. During praise and worship we could sing all the praises we want to God but think again do we sincerely meant what we say? Is it a goal for us or is just like any other lyrics of any other ordinary songs? It make me think again how many times have we break our promises to people and how many times we did not meant what we said. I didn't know why did it fell so deep and make me think so much about this however just thought of sharing. God give us his son do we even keep it to heart? Do we even care in the first place? Or are you people just a "saturday christian" ?? I wondered.....
Remember what pastor benjamin share about the things we want. If the things we want were given to us earlier then it was suppose to be then all of it become waste as it is still not the time yet. This could also be one of the reason why you don't always get what you want when you ask for them. When it is time it will all be given to you. God will choose the best time for me to have the things I want. I think I will just let him go. Because I think is not time yet therefore God didn't want me to be distacted. Hold onto this God is always faithful.
Remember what pastor benjamin share about the things we want. If the things we want were given to us earlier then it was suppose to be then all of it become waste as it is still not the time yet. This could also be one of the reason why you don't always get what you want when you ask for them. When it is time it will all be given to you. God will choose the best time for me to have the things I want. I think I will just let him go. Because I think is not time yet therefore God didn't want me to be distacted. Hold onto this God is always faithful.
Monday, November 23, 2009 | 3:40 PM
New blog skin
change everything there all over again because I just thought of changing.. I love this blog skin and the blog song too.. Hope you guys like it too!!
| 10:15 AM
WTH
haiz early in the morning thinking of taking out the gross then go bath in the end I even torn the new skin while I was taking out the gross. Pain like don't know what la!!! This few days have been rotting at home. Finally tomorrow can go buy books liao then I can keep myself busy wraping books!!
Daddy God is indeed faithful. Good news I confirm in the church camp already! Really look forward to it! Now only left with mum and dad. Need to see if they are working if they are then can not go already but I will continue to trust in daddy God that he can make this possible because nothing is impossible with daddy God!! I am seriously broke this few months because all my money is use up for the camp. I still old people birthday gifts. Any way daddy God is so gracious that he even provide me with a small amount of money to get some stuff for camp! Isn't he great?! Is just so awesome!!! I do have some expects during the camp and that is that I may go back in to his presences and that I may grow deeper in relationship with daddy God because HE is just so great! Having a daddy God that provides not only my needs and my wants is so awesome!!!!
Daddy God is indeed faithful. Good news I confirm in the church camp already! Really look forward to it! Now only left with mum and dad. Need to see if they are working if they are then can not go already but I will continue to trust in daddy God that he can make this possible because nothing is impossible with daddy God!! I am seriously broke this few months because all my money is use up for the camp. I still old people birthday gifts. Any way daddy God is so gracious that he even provide me with a small amount of money to get some stuff for camp! Isn't he great?! Is just so awesome!!! I do have some expects during the camp and that is that I may go back in to his presences and that I may grow deeper in relationship with daddy God because HE is just so great! Having a daddy God that provides not only my needs and my wants is so awesome!!!!
Friday, November 20, 2009 | 1:39 PM
Rotting in process
Rotting at home for two days already. So sianz.. Anw ytd went for bro's graduation performances! HE rocks man.. He look so cute last nite! Love him yeah?! =] Alot of unhappy things happen yesterday..
Was so pissed off with things like I don't understand mum why she expect me to know my sister's school things like the awards she get.. HELLO I don't even know rite? I was from a different primary school from her right? The stupid don't know what star award I seriously never even hear it before how am I surpose to know!!!! Nevermind then later scold me what wash so little clothes at least I tried right is better then some1 that never even do anything!!! then just because of what I say then dad come scold me that what I sacastic! I never I was just stating the truth and it was not even sacastic what's wrong with the statement that I make?! I just say it was better then some people that is not doing anything. my stand was just that at least I try to help mum out! dad get so sensitive that say what I was pin pointing my aunt I was not even think of that then he say what if I ever saythat in front of my grandpa or should I say step-grandpa he will slap me till I fly! Well jolly7 well try that and I make sure that u and my mum will divorce!!!!! Ever since they move to my house my mum have to wash the clothes like crazy then what about my aunbt even when she off she just stay at home and sleep. ALL SHE KNOW HOW TO DO IS TO EAT! SLEEP! SHIT! I hate her to the core man!! mum will only know how to always complain infront of me then make me frustrated only!! Then dad and mum also always quarrel because of them!!! why can't they just leave!!! My parents have to take care of all our expenses then all the fucking money you earn you just keep it yourself shameless freak!!! I hate you being like a pig at my house!!! I don't like the way my mum have to work like crazy while you just sleep your way through!! you know how stinbk i9s your clothes anot fat ass!!! mum and I have to bear with the smell and wash your fucking clothes for you!! Then all you do is to sit infront of the tv eat and slp then work come back don't want to bath! HELLO!! get this well you are staying at my house not at your own so you should know the basic hygiene!!! You have distort all our life!!!! Secretly use our comb then nv bath your hair smell even worse then shit man!!! then whenever we use OUR comb we will have to wash!! Please la how old are you already??!! 40 plus going to 50 le! plan for yourself idoit! my mum won't let you stay till you die 1 u know?! look at your own age and compare it to my how many house work can you do?! infact none!! I will always remember how grandma were to comb your hair every morning! how you cry when grandma ask you to help my mum do house work!! I'm only 14 I can do alot things much more better then you! I can balance everything but what about you?! You know people don't like it why must you still do it???! You know how I know whenever you are at home? because even before I reach home I could smell your kind of starch right out side!!! That was how strong your starch was!!! Do you know you were the main cause of dad and mum quarrel? I could even see the day when dad will have to choose between you and mum! That will be when mum could not take you anymore you understand how big you are a problem to us??!!! get it??? you sucks big time!!! smelly old pig!!! I really can't stand you already!!! Every night when you come back you go inside the toliect then even after you come out I don't even dare to go inside the toliect because it stinks!!!! You asshole spoilt my life!! why must our family change because of you??!!! If you realise now adays I try to sleep or just stay in my room and not come out when you comeback so that I don't have to smell your smell or just see your idoit face then same gose in the morning! I simply just don't want to see you!!!!!!!
Was so pissed off with things like I don't understand mum why she expect me to know my sister's school things like the awards she get.. HELLO I don't even know rite? I was from a different primary school from her right? The stupid don't know what star award I seriously never even hear it before how am I surpose to know!!!! Nevermind then later scold me what wash so little clothes at least I tried right is better then some1 that never even do anything!!! then just because of what I say then dad come scold me that what I sacastic! I never I was just stating the truth and it was not even sacastic what's wrong with the statement that I make?! I just say it was better then some people that is not doing anything. my stand was just that at least I try to help mum out! dad get so sensitive that say what I was pin pointing my aunt I was not even think of that then he say what if I ever saythat in front of my grandpa or should I say step-grandpa he will slap me till I fly! Well jolly7 well try that and I make sure that u and my mum will divorce!!!!! Ever since they move to my house my mum have to wash the clothes like crazy then what about my aunbt even when she off she just stay at home and sleep. ALL SHE KNOW HOW TO DO IS TO EAT! SLEEP! SHIT! I hate her to the core man!! mum will only know how to always complain infront of me then make me frustrated only!! Then dad and mum also always quarrel because of them!!! why can't they just leave!!! My parents have to take care of all our expenses then all the fucking money you earn you just keep it yourself shameless freak!!! I hate you being like a pig at my house!!! I don't like the way my mum have to work like crazy while you just sleep your way through!! you know how stinbk i9s your clothes anot fat ass!!! mum and I have to bear with the smell and wash your fucking clothes for you!! Then all you do is to sit infront of the tv eat and slp then work come back don't want to bath! HELLO!! get this well you are staying at my house not at your own so you should know the basic hygiene!!! You have distort all our life!!!! Secretly use our comb then nv bath your hair smell even worse then shit man!!! then whenever we use OUR comb we will have to wash!! Please la how old are you already??!! 40 plus going to 50 le! plan for yourself idoit! my mum won't let you stay till you die 1 u know?! look at your own age and compare it to my how many house work can you do?! infact none!! I will always remember how grandma were to comb your hair every morning! how you cry when grandma ask you to help my mum do house work!! I'm only 14 I can do alot things much more better then you! I can balance everything but what about you?! You know people don't like it why must you still do it???! You know how I know whenever you are at home? because even before I reach home I could smell your kind of starch right out side!!! That was how strong your starch was!!! Do you know you were the main cause of dad and mum quarrel? I could even see the day when dad will have to choose between you and mum! That will be when mum could not take you anymore you understand how big you are a problem to us??!!! get it??? you sucks big time!!! smelly old pig!!! I really can't stand you already!!! Every night when you come back you go inside the toliect then even after you come out I don't even dare to go inside the toliect because it stinks!!!! You asshole spoilt my life!! why must our family change because of you??!!! If you realise now adays I try to sleep or just stay in my room and not come out when you comeback so that I don't have to smell your smell or just see your idoit face then same gose in the morning! I simply just don't want to see you!!!!!!!